M&A (and other major business life events) are inherently disruptive. Although it will probably sound counterintuitive, these are times when leaders must balance the very real command-and-control requirements with overt expressions of empathy and understanding.
It is the team members on both sides that will make it work, or not. A readily visible demonstration of empathy is evident in deep, generous, attentive, listening. If a leader listens with an elevated sense of curiosity and presence in the moment, they will more likely be aware of the emotions being felt by the team members (old and new), in addition to simply hearing the words. The team will likely reflect the leader’s demonstration of humanness and “pass it on.”
Listening leverages ego. The speaker’s, not the listener’s. Unsurprisingly, people prefer to talk about themselves Why? Research has shown that it feels good. In the dynamics of a transaction with the consequent uncertainty and anxiety, employees don’t want to be talked “at” . . . they want to be listened to and heard–so they can feel good (and safe).
If the leader says, “Don’t worry, nothing’s going to change,” alarm bells will go off, and two conclusions will be reached: The leader is probably a liar (or doesn’t have a clue), and is likely taking the employees for granted, at least until “later, when there’s more time.” Tensions will actually rise from the leader’s “reassurance” that nothing will change. Some of the high-performing talent will hear it as the need to start packing for more enlightened destinations. Listening as a management tool… needs to be brought front and center.
A couple of tips for leaders in these kinds of situations. Be prepared to “prime the pump” by having open-ended questions at the ready. These are questions that create space for expansive responses. Such questions invite the other person to jump in or keep going. In this context, consider open-ended questions such as, “How are you feeling about the transition?” “What could I do to better support you in this process?” “Do you have any specific questions I can answer?” Prepare a germane follow-up question or two to encourage the speaker to continue feeling good about being heard.
This is simple and effective, but hard to do. I know from experience that leaders, especially in dynamic M&A and other complex transitions, find it very hard to slow down and stay present in any conversation. There is more to do than there is time to do it. Listening requires both time and patience. But it pays big dividends in bringing a sense of transparency, authenticity, and humanity to the people who will have to make any transition actually work. Make the time, and ease the process for everybody else. Feels like leadership. ~Will Keiper, co-author (with Steve Chandler) of The Leader and The Coach–The Art of Humanity in Leadership
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