“One does not ‘manage’ people. The task is to lead people. And the goal is to make productive the specific strengths and knowledge of each individual.” ~Peter Drucker
Real power in leadership comes from partnering, not criticizing.
The leaders who know how to coach, set themselves apart by retaining the power and efficacy of collaboration. Their practice is to understand everyone they work with. By doing this, they are reducing their own stress levels at work.
Because they are skilled in a non-judgmental coaching mindset that prioritizes positive reinforcement, they are completely aware that every time they judge someone they alter their own well-being from within. So they refuse to assign the responsibility for negative feelings to the person that they are tempted to judge. They assign the responsibility for their low feelings, when they occur, to the thought that they are believing about that person.
Only thoughts cause stress. People do not. People cannot. But for the old-school micromanager, the stress never quits, and the harmony in the organization never holds. If you are micromanaging in the old style of shame and blame, you will recognize this example: You’re coming into the company parking garage and suddenly have to slow down because there’s an old person in the car in front of you going slower than molasses. If you then decide you don’t like older people who drive slowly, you start to suffer. And you will suffer every time this “happens” to you. It’s not really happening to you; it is being caused by you. The stress comes directly from your thought. The old person has no power to stress you out. You think you are suffering because this oldster is driving poorly, but the truth is you are only suffering because of your judgmental thought about him.
We all want to be powerful and in control of our own well-being, but we continually give away the very power we seek, by our inability to forgive and let go. The only way out of this trap of constant suffering is to cultivate the open-minded skills of letting the skeptical opinions of others roll off our backs and letting other people’s negativity go in one ear and out the other. Anything we cannot let go of has control over us. But once we can let go, we’re in control. We can laugh and enjoy how we are unaffected by what other people might be thinking.
That’s when you change as a leader. That’s when people see you as an island in the storm. A person to go to for peaceful resolutions of crises. In other words: a true leader/coach who gets results from a relaxed and highly-productive team.
Steve Chandler, co-author with Will Keiper of The Leader and The Coach–The Art of Humanity in Leadership available now.
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